These songs play as background music on this page
MURDER IN THE CHIPSHOP
Last night there was a murder in the chip shop
A wee dog stole a haddy bone
A big dog tried tae tak it aff him
So ah hit it wi a tattie scone.
Ah went round tae see ma Auntie Sarah
But ma Auntie Sarah wisnae in
So ah peeked through a hole in the windae
And ah shouted "Auntie Sarah, are ye in?"
Her false teeth were lyin on the table
Her curly wig wis lying on the bed
And ah nearly split ma sides wi laughin
When ah saw her screwing aff her wudden leg.
[Students may know a shorter local playground version of this. It can be performed complete with actions]
I went to a Chinese restaurant, to buy a loaf of bread
He wrapped it up in a five pound note and this is what it said
My name is Elvis Presley, I'm a movie star
I do the hippy hippy shakey and I play the guitar
The boys are hunky and the girls are sexy
Sittin in the back street, drinkin Pepsi
Where's yer faither? Roun the corner
In the harbour drinkin lager
He feels a bit dizzy and he draps doon deid.