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MURDER IN THE CHIPSHOP
Last night there was a murder in the chip shop
A wee dog stole a haddy bone
A big dog tried tae tak it aff him
So ah hit it wi a tattie scone.
Ah went round tae see ma Auntie Sarah
But ma Auntie Sarah wisnae in
So ah peeked through a hole in the windae
And ah shouted "Auntie Sarah, are ye in?"
Her false teeth were lyin on the table
Her curly wig wis lying on the bed
And ah nearly split ma sides wi laughin
When ah saw her screwing aff her wudden leg.