BUY ME A BANANA
Ma, Ma, will you buy me a, buy me a, buy me a
Ma, Ma, will you buy me a, buy me a banana? [hold up one thumb as banana]
Yes my son, I’ll buy you a, buy you a, buy you a
Yes my son, I’ll buy you a, buy you a banana
Ma, Ma, will you peel the skin?
The skin of my banana. [peel thumb with other hand]
Yes, my dear, I’ll peel the skin
The skin of your banana
Ma, Ma, do you want a bite? [offer thumb]
A bite of my banana
Yes, my son, I’d like a bite
A bite of your banana
Ma, Ma, you took too much [complaining hands]
Too much of my banana
No my dear, it was just one bite [hold up one finger]
One bite of your banana
Ma, Ma, you’re a greedy guts [[thumbs down
You ate all my banana
Ma, Ma, will you buy me a, buy me a, buy me a
Ma, Ma, will you buy me a, buy me a banana?
CLAP YER HANDIES
Clap yer handies till daddie comes hame
Clap yer handies till daddie comes hame
Daddie has siller but mammie has nane
Clap yer handies till daddie comes hame.
CLAPA CLAPA HANDIES
Clapa clapa handies, daddie's comin hame
Sweeties in his pocket for a good wee wean.
COOKING ON THE BARBEQUE
Something's cooking at our house,
And it smells nice too oo oo oo
Something's cooking at our house,
Cooking on the barbeque
Burger, burger number one,
Burger number two oo oo oo,
Burger, burger number three,
Cooking on the barbeque
Get the plates and knives and forks
Get the napkins too oo oo oo
Get the sauce and pepper and salt
Cooking on the barbeque
Sausage, sausage number one,
Sausage number two oo oo oo,
Sausage, sausage number three,
Cooking on the barbeque
Get the drinks and open them up
Get the glasses too oo oo oo
Get the chairs and tables out
Cooking on the barbeque
Chicken leg, chicken leg number one
Chicken leg number two oo oo oo
Chicken leg, chicken leg number three
Cooking on the barbeque.
Words by Ewan McVicar
Tune Someone’s In The Kitchen With Dinah
CRADLE SONG
Mime piano, then fiddle, then rocking baby, then back to instruments
DANCE TAE YER DADDY
Dance tae yer daddie, ma bonnie laddie
Dance tae yer daddie, ma bonnie man.
Ye'll get a herrin aa tae yersel
Ye'll get a whippie and a Souple Tam.
Ye'll get a fishie, my bonny missie,
Ye'll get a fishie when the boats come in.
Dance tae yer daddie, ma bonnie laddie
Dance tae yer daddie, ma bonnie man.
Also called When The Boat Comes In
HEN'S MARCH TO THE MIDDEN
Mime piano, then fiddle. In second strain of tune is a repeated strident three note phrase which is the sound of the hen. Say 'cud dack it' each time.
KATIE BAIRDIE
Katie Bairdie had a yowe (sheep)
That could curtsey and could bow
Wasnae that a dainty yowe?
Dance, Katie Bairdie
Katie Bairdie had a horse
That could dance around the carse
Wasnae that a dainty horse?
Dance, Katie Bairdie
Katie Bairdie had a dog
It went jogging in the fog
Wasnae that a dainty dog?
Dance, Katie Bairdie
Katie Bairdie had a fox
Wore its socks in a cardboard box
Wasnae that a dainty fox?
Dance, Katie Bairdie
Katie Bairdie had a chook
That could cook a tasty deuk
Wasnae that a dainty chook?
Dance, Katie Bairdie
Katie Bairdie had a cat
Wore a fuzzy wuzzy hat
Wasnae that a dainty cat?
Dance, Katie Bairdie
Katie Bairdie had a coo
Bright red lipstick roon its moo
Wasnae that a dainty coo?
Dance, Katie Bairdie
Katie had a chunky monkey
Danced to music punky funky
Wasnae that a dainty monkey?
Dance, Katie Bairdie
Katie had a crocodile
We haven't seen her for a while
KIRKCUDBRIGHT CENTIPEDE
The Wee Kirkcudbright Centipede, she was very sweet
She was ever so proud of every one of her hundred feet
Early every morning her neighbours came to glance
She always entertained them with a beautiful little dance
Chorus
As leg number ninety four gave ninety five a shunt
Legs number one and two were twistin out in front
As legs numbers nine and ten were wriggling up the side
Legs seventy three and four were doing the Palais Glide
[use fingers to mime the dancing for each chorus]
Her neighbour Jenny Longlegs with jealousy was mad
She went out and bought herself a pencil and a pad
She came a month of mornings and made careful note
Of every step the centipede made and this is what she wrote
Armed with exact notation young Jenny Longlegs tried
To dance just like the centipede, she failed and nearly cried
She grabbed a hold of the centipede, she says ‘Now, have a look
And tell me how you do these steps I've written in my book?’
Said the centipede ‘Do I do that?’, and tried to demonstrate
She'd never thought on the thing before, she got into a terrible state
Her hundred legs were twisted, she got tied up in a fankle
She fractured seven shinbones, fourteen kneecaps and an ankle
As legs number one and two were tied to three and four
Legs number five and six were trampled on the floor
Leg number fifteen was attacked by number ten
Ninety seven and ninety eight will never dance again
The Wee Kirkcudbright Centipede, she suffered terrible pain
And some of us were very surprised she ever danced again
But now she tells her neighbours, every one that calls to see
Never try an explanation of what comes naturally.
MA MAW'S A MILLIONAIRE
Ma maw's a millionaire
Blue eyes and curly hair
See her walkin doon the street
Wi her big banana feet
Ma maw's a millionaire.
Ma maw's a millionaire
Blue eyes and curly hair
Sittin among the Eskimos
Playin the game of dominoes
Ma maw's a millionaire.
I know a teddy bear
Blue eyes and curly hair
Roly poly through the town
Knockin all the people down
I know a teddy bear
THE STICKY JIG
The tune is about a stick insect. Mime playing the harp strings, and the slow movements of the insect.
THE WIND THE WIND
The wind, the wind, the wind blows high,
The snow comes dashing from the sky.
Judy Johnston says she'll die
If she doesn't get the fella with the tartan tie.
She is handsome, she is pretty,
She is the belle of the Golden City,
She is courting one two three,
Pray come tell me who shall be.
THREE CRAWS
Three craws sat upon a wa
Sat upon a wa, sat upon a wa aw aw aw
Three craws sat upon a wa
On a cold and frosty mornin.
[hold three fingers of right hand chenched in left fist, and wave them]
The first craw was greetin for its maw.
[indicate first finger, then mime crying]
The second craw couldny flee at aa.
[indicate second finger, then waggle elbows trying to fly]
The third craw fell an broke its jaw.
[indicate third finger, then smack self gently on jaw]
The fourth craw wisnae there at aa.
[hide all fingers, then shrug and open hands out]
WHA SAW THE 42ND?
Wha saw the 42nd, wha saw them gaun awa
Wha saw the 42nd merchin doon the Broomielaw
Some o them had boots an stockins
Some o them had nane at aa
Some o them had tattie scones
For tae keep the cauld awa.
Wha saw the 42nd, wha saw them gaun awa
Wha saw the 42nd merchin doon the Broomielaw
Some o them had tartan toories
Some o them had nane at aa
Some o them had green umbrellas
For tae keep the rain awa.
WHEN I WAS SINGLE
When ah was single ah used to comb ma hair [comb hair]
Noo ah'm merried ah huvny the time tae spare [tap imaginary watch]
It's a life, a life, a weary weary life [hand to brow, tired]
Yer better tae be single than tae be a merried wife. [wag reproving finger]
When ah was single I used a powder puff [powder cheeks]
Noo ah'm merried ah canny afford the stuff. [pull empty pockets out]
One says "Mammie, help me intae ma pram" [mime lifting and placing]
Anither says "Mammie, gie's a piece and jam". [left hand as bread, right hand as spreading knife]
One says "Mammie, help me intae ma bed" [mime lifting and placing]
Anither says "Mammie, scratch ma wudden leg". [scratch leg]
WHO'S THAT UP THE CHIMNEY?
Who’s that up the chimney? [point up chimney]
Who’s that up the chimney?
Who’s that up the chimney?
I hope it’s Santa Claus
I hope he’s brought some presents [hands spread to show pile of presents at waist level]
I hope he’s brought some presents [show pile of presents at shoulder level]
I hope he’s brought some presents [show pile of presents above head level]
Cause I’ve been really good
I hope it’s not the chimney sweep [mime chimeny sweep brushing upwards]
That would be a swizz [thumbs down]
I’d like to see his reindeer [spread fingers on head for antlers]
Are their noses red? [right hand to nose]
I hope that he comes back again [thumb over shoulder]
Comes back again next year
Who’s that up the chimney? [with cupped hands whisper 'Santa!]
Who’s that up the chimney? [ditto]
Who’s that up the chimney? [ditto]
I hope it’s Santa Claus [whisper 'It is!']
YE CANNY SHOVE YER GRANNIE
Ye canny shove yer grannie aff a bus
Ye canny shove yer grannie aff a bus
Ye canny shove yer grannie
Cause she's yer mammie's mammie
Ye canny shove yer grannie aff a bus
Ye can shove yer other grannie aff a bus PUSH PUSH [both hands pushing]
Ye can shove yer other grannie
Cause she's just yer daddie's mammie
We'll all go round to see her after school HULLO GRANNIE [wave]
She'll feed us mince and tatties when we go YUM YUM [rub tummy]
Ma grannie wears an awfy woollie vest SCRATCH SCRATCH [scratch body]
Ye canny shove yer grannie aff a bus
Ye canny shove yer grannie aff a bus
Ye canny shove yer grannie
Cause she's yer mammie's mammie
Ye canny shove yer grannie aff a bus
